Bedbugs and Rats

Well before I get into the meat of the blog I thought I should just open up and let all the good folks at Bishop Pinkham know that I finally am rid of the bedbugs. I somehow managed to be the only person who sailed on the Pacific Swift that was able to successfully import them back to Calgary and was able to get them through customs and half way around the world. For the few days after we sailed I was getting about five or six fresh little itchy bites every night. It has taken until this last week to finally be rid of the bedbugs. It seems that the little suckers can’t take the searing heat like their dark skinned host can.

To replace my little friends I have some other creatures of the night, RATS. My first encounter came in the middle of the night as I was heading to the washroom to be ill. As I flicked on the light I saw this rat scurry for cover. I basically told the rat he could freely go about his business as long as he let me go about mine.

A few nights later I was feeling a little feistier and back to my normal self and bravely entered the lair of the Lanka rat. As soon as I heard him I locked the door, shut off the lights and went hunting for a reliable rat smacker. After securing the women and children I set about the slaying of the beast. As I re-entered the bathroom the rat tried to scurry back along the shower curtain and back out the hole from whence he came. I was worried that my one shot at killing him was about to vanish so I lunged at the rodent and wildly tried to tomahawk chop him. During one of my well placed thrusts I managed to successfully bat him across the room and into the toilet!! Ahh yes I could not have actually done that if I tried.

I quickly shut the lid and went about planning the next stage of this assault. I tried flushing him a few times but the legs of this beast were not match for the torrents of a toilet flush. I decided to launch the shock and awe campaign and utilized the age old tactic of flush and bash. This campaign almost met with disastrous results. The torrent of water, the spastic bashing and the panicked jumping of the rat almost resulted in me launching the rat back out of the toilet and back to freedom. After several flushes and lots of wild bashing I brought this calamitous affair to a halt and shut the lid to allow the troops to regroup.

At last, I opened the yawning mouth of the toilet and looked square into the eye of the beast and swore an oath that either he or I would die and that only one of us would prevail. All the while thoughts of Captain Ahab and his pursuit of Moby Dick flashed through my mind.

I lunged at the rat with my plank about ten or so times, water splashing everywhere, little ratty shrieking, Alanna laughing and Ahab mocking. Finally, nearly exhausted with effort I was able to inflict a fatal blow and the Leviathan sank below and was successfully flushed and seen nevermore.
Except … that about five minutes later as we danced and cheered as the exultant victors we discovered fresh rat crap in the kitchen. UUGGHHHH!!

We have set multiple traps and one of the locals had me purchase rat glue. The idea is that you set out some bait and glue on a board. The rat gets caught in the glue and then in the morning you get to bash his brains in. Well I guess we will just see how the evening goes. Fun in Sri Lanka